I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
