Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
