My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
