i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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