is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize