overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
