My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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