A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
