Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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