my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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