My room smells like vodka and shame
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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