Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
