Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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