am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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