apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize