Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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