I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
