Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
