Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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