apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
