i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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