I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
