all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Houston, we have a blender
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
