Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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