I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
