I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
