Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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