O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
