u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
