just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
