Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
