come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
