i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
