i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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