SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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