Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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