the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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