Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
