I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just googled if crying burns calories
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.