Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish I only lived at night.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.