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it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Randomize
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