She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do