Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
