I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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