Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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