I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
