I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
