I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
