He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
