i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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