And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
