You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
