how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
