i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
