oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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