6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
