I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
