I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
