I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
