this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
