this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize