Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
