In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
