but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sober January is a disaster.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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